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You also agree to the Terms of Use and acknowledge the data collection and usage practices outlined in our Privacy Policy. What are you looking for? Preferences Community Newsletters Log Out. Written by Mary Jo Foley , Contributor. Full Bio. My Profile Log Out. Join Discussion for: Microsoft reorgs its cloud business, creates Because if you ask for a raise first, you're asking for one thing, which means that it inherently cannot be a collaborative negotiation.

And women do very poorly in competitive negotiations because of gender perception. In order for it to be a collaborative negotiation, there have to be multiple issues. You just derailed somebody's career. We are on our way to doing Y. And things that I've brainstormed are X, Y and Z.

I think it would be helpful to have even a part-time assistant to help me focus on higher-value tasks. Lastly, I wanted to talk about potentially getting some more sales training for our team that I think would help us talk to our customers better.

The advice hasn't changed; the environment has. So before, the No. Now, workers are in a much stronger position, and companies have been forced to think creatively. And so what we were thinking about doing before is a lot easier to do right now.

I've been encouraging my community to do it now, because we don't know what the world is gonna look like in six months. As in, tech workers have the upper hand now, but that might not be the case in six months. I've also read some other studies out there that found that not only do women receive more backlash than men, but men also don't have to negotiate as much as women because they tend to get promotions and raises without asking for them in the first place.

It's like that whole saying about how men are judged on potential, whereas women and people of color are judged more on past performance. Do you agree with that, and how do you think overlooked employees can better advocate for themselves? I do think that that's the experience. However, I see it as an opportunity. Because, as a woman, when you negotiate communally and collaboratively, you are able to sidestep the double-bind. So you get both better negotiation outcomes and better social outcomes.

I've had this happen in my own career, when I negotiate using a strategy and I do it well, people afterward not only see me as more competent, but also as more likable.

They rate me higher on leadership potential and all kinds of other things. I see negotiating when you're able to do it this way as an opportunity to accelerate your career. On the other hand, what do you think managers can do to make sure they're not overlooking people because of their gender or race, and that they're promoting people equitably? We know that men have been conditioned to see and request opportunities more than women.

I worked with one manager who made a policy that any opportunity was openly announced at his team meeting on Tuesdays, and anyone who wanted to throw their hat in the ring could. Can you put me on that account? Men and women didn't have equal access to information. Just by making it open that way, that brought more fairness to the team. I train them to consider how gender comes into the equation.

When a woman comes to you with her back against the wall asking for something, I need you to understand how much harder it was for her to do it. She probably doesn't want to. Acknowledge how high the potential cost is to her career. You can't interpret it the way you would if a man came to you aggressively. The studies are mixed. I think if you were to do a trend line of them, you would find that up until about five years ago, women didn't ask as often as men.

And now what you're finding, particularly with the younger groups, is that women are asking just as often, if not more. Research shows that having objective data helps eliminate bias. What resources are out there for women in tech to find out more info and context around pay and benchmarking market rates? That's not true.

You can benchmark a whole host of things that don't even have to be quantifiable. I worked with one woman who wanted to get a partner promotion.

So her benchmarking uncovered that there's actually an opportunity she needed to ask for. In terms of pay resources, one of them is Salary. The other one is Carta. They have a new DEI initiative where you can run a benchmarking report for your job, your location, et cetera. They have the most competition data on privately held companies.

The other source is people who have left your company, because they're very open books. The key for women and people of color is, naturally, we tend to ask people that we're the closest to. But if we just ask women and people of color, we will get lower numbers. So go find a white man, and ask him what he thinks. Does that seem right to you? If we just ask women and people of color, we will get lower numbers.

How do you bring it up with your manager? Do you reveal that this specific person told you that they made much more than you? How do you frame it? In general, I would never say who the person is. That just brings risk onto them. What you want to do is to go one level deeper and approach somebody in terms of what their interests are and how your interests align with that.

What do you think about that? I feel like benchmarking is easier when you have a job that has very clear levels, like an engineer, for example. How do you know what you're supposed to be paid and what the norms are if you don't have a good comparison? I advise clients to be out in the market every 18 months or so.

You are worth as much as somebody else will pay you. So if you have a highly ambiguous role where it's near-impossible to figure that out, then the best way for you to figure it out is to see what somebody else would pay. The answer to that question is probably to understand the other side's BATNA, or best alternative to a negotiated agreement. Basically, what's your backup plan?

If your company has been losing people left and right, then their backup plan is pretty weak, and it might be a good time to negotiate. Right now in general I would say is a really good time. It's non-negotiable. I think that's, again, why you do not want a single-issue negotiation, because they can do that. Do you have any final thoughts on the biggest misconception women have when it comes to negotiation?

One is fear of backlash. That is real. I think that this approach significantly mitigates it. Then there are three other lies that women tell themselves. It's just a piece of information that you take in and then do something with. I can pay my bills. You may not be good at this yet because you haven't been given the right tools yet, or you haven't had enough time to practice yet.

But to believe that women aren't good negotiators is factually untrue. And in cultures that are less individualistic than ours, women actually consistently have better results than men. It's just that in ours, we have to tweak the rules of the game a little bit.

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